Sometimes a woman is her own worst enemy! We find ourselves saying “yes” to one more thing, especially during the holidays.

“Do less. Be More. That’s my goal this Christmas season,” Lysa TerKeurst, author of The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands,” posted last Saturday on Facebook. Limiting items on the to-do list is one sure fire tactic to reduce stress during this season and always.

We end up stressing because we try to put too much into our day, said certified professional speaker and human behaviorist Colette Carlson December 5 to a group of about 300 women in attendance at the Executive Women in Ag (#EWA14) in Chicago. “The truth is you’re never going to get it all done,” she said. “What you really need to do is create a Not-To-Do List.”

Items that bog you down should be moved from the “To-Do” to the “Not-To-Do” list. Some tasks currently identified as Not-To-Do’s may someday make your To-Do List, says Carlson, but right now other values and goals take priority.

It’s time to speak your truth, says Carlson. Women – in general – must learn to express themselves. When you say “yes” to everyone else, you’re saying “no” to yourself!

So why do women agree to take on more when we really want to say “no”?  Most of us are afraid of disappointing or angering someone we love or respect. We don’t want to be criticized, talked-about or judged. (Hmmm… Isn’t it ironic that women tend to be more critical and judgmental of other women?)

To help determine whether accepting a request to help is worth your time and effort, Carlson recommends asking yourself these questions:

• Will this task give you access to, or recognition or respect from, a connection you’re cultivating?
• Will it simply take energy, focus and time away from other vital deliverables?
• Or will it develop a skill set you’re looking to grow?

Recent research by Lise Vesterlund, economics professor at the University of Pittsburgh, reveals that women in the workforce are more likely than men to: (1) Volunteer to do non-promotable tasks; (2) Be asked to do non-promotable tasks; and (3) Agree to do these tasks.

“No” just may be your password to the next level. The second “truth” that Carlson shared during her presentation to Executive Women in Ag is “To go to the next level, you must grow to the next level.”

No matter your position or career goals, you can benefit from adapt these truths to fit your situation. “Leadership is a state of mind, not a job title,” says Carlson. Whether we’re managing our own household or leading a Fortune 500 company, all women know what it’s like to feel overcommitted. That’s why it’s so important to know when to take control and when to let go. “Let it go, let it go!”

“Get your ask in gear,” advises Carlson. By multi-asking rather than multi-tasking, you just may find yourself singing a new tune this holiday season.

I was listening to NewsRadio 1040 WHO early one morning last week as talk show hosts Van & Bonnie were broadcasting live from a Des Moines-area mall. Van mentioned how the “mall walkers” were surprised by the station’s early morning activities. My first thought was, “Why would anyone be in the mall that early to walk?

That thought prompted me to consider how physical activity has changed during the last century. We all know that our eating habits have changed throughout the years. We consume far more calories today than we ever have, but these calories come from different foods than those that graced our ancestors’ tables. Many foods today are processed, unlike a generation or two ago when homegrown foods were eaten fresh or canned to last throughout the winter months.

In the old farm house where I grew up, there was a “potato room” in the basement that was like a root cellar. There also was a “fruit room” where home canned goods were kept. A dumb waiter, or manual elevator, lowered food onto the basement floor where it was keep it cool since there wasn’t any refrigeration at the time this house was built.

Now back to the mall walkers… When I was young, walking was something we did to get to the barn or to a field. Chores on Saturdays involved a pitchfork and a shovel. Three or four times during the summer months, we baled and stacked hay. No wonder farm kids were in pretty good shape for sports!

In “the good old days,” cows were milked by hand. Barns were cleaned by hand. Even corn was picked by hand. This has changed to where today many farmers do not even need to steer their tractors across the field! In fact, 41% of the U.S. workforce in in 1900 was needed to grow food. As of 2000, only 1.9% of Americans farmed.

It stands to reason that just as farm chores transformed in the 20^th Century, off-farm jobs also have become more mechanized during the past 100 years. A pallet of seed that I plant is now stacked neatly by a robot. Much of the welding in a factory is done by robots. I toured a factory where my hog feeders were built, and the steel is cut and placed by robots!

Even households chores are different today. Central vacuums have eliminated the need to pull around a big vacuum, and coming on strong is the Roomba… you guessed it, a robot vacuum!

Entertainment has changed through the years, as well. When I was young – after chores, of course – neighborhood kids would get together to play football or basketball. I either rode my bicycle or my horse to get to the neighbors. Going outside to play was the most entertaining “option” as we only had three TV channels, and cartoons only aired on Saturday mornings. Video games were nonexistent.

The mechanization of American has created a new industry. Instead of “working off” calories, today we must “work out” to stay fit. Don’t get me wrong – I admire those early morning walkers in the shopping mall. But I can only imagine

what my grandmother, who milked cows by hand, would think of someone driving to the shopping mall to go walking. Come to think of it, I wonder what she would think of an actual shopping mall. Times have certainly changed!

“The most peaceful thing in the world is plowing a field. Chances are you’ll do your best thinking that way.” – Harry S. Truman

Since I practice minimum tillageand no longer plow, I do my best thinking early in the morning while listening to the radio. Thanks for allowing me to share my thoughts with you today!

Women tend to look at themselves in the mirror and think, “Today is not a good hair day.” (Yes, some women actually begin the day with a personal put down! I just may be speaking from personal experience.) When someone offers us a compliment, we downplay it. For example, someone might say to me, “I love your scarf.” I might respond, “This old thing? I got it on clearance last year for $9.99.” Sound familiar?

The truth is that every woman has incredible strengths, said motivational speaker and author Colette Carlson as she addressed a group of about 300 U.S. farm women, who gathered Dec. 5 in Chicago for the 4^th annual Executive Women in Ag conference.

“Learn to express your success” is one “truth” Carlson shared during her breakout session entitled, “3 Truths Female Business Leaders Need to Know.” Start playing to your strengths by taking three relatively simple steps:

1. Milk a compliment. Humbly accept kind words rather than diluting a compliment. When you devalue a compliment, you send the message that you either aren’t confident in your work or that you don’t respect the opinion of the person who gave you the praise. Learn 7 ways to accept compliments graciously – and then make the most of them!
2. Be a human highlighter. It’s much easier to compliment someone else; highlight the accomplishments of a professional ally, who will in turn, make others aware of your achievements. If you’re a business leader, be sure to champion the strengths of every individual on your team, advises Carlson.
3. Talk yourself into, rather than out of, opportunities. Studies show that women’s lack of confidence consistently holds them back. Whether speaking your truth, delivering a presentation, requesting a promotion, or undertaking some other fear-inducing endeavor, Carlson says confidence is the catalyst propelling us forward.

Clear and direct communication is necessary whether we’re dealing with customers, employers or employees. Employees stay more engaged in work environments with sincere communication and clear expectations.However, when women are too direct, Carlson says it’s mistaken for arrogance. When they’re too succinct, they sound abrupt.

To avoid sounding *itchy, match your tone and body language to the words you’re saying. Carlson demonstrated this by asking the ladies in her #EWA14 workshop to say the word “oh.” This simple two-letter word can convey a host of meanings, depending on tone: curiosity, understanding, disappointment, surprise and affection.

The same hold true when saying “no.” The meaning of this two-letter word also takes on different meanings depending on the tone used. Quite honestly, I have a hard time saying “no” because I don’t want to disappoint anyone. (After all, I grew up providing customer service and made a living providing client service!) But as Carlson points out, we don’t have to be mean when we’re saying what we mean. It’s all about the words we chose and the tone we use, so I’m going to practice saying “no” with clarity.

Saying “yes” all the time can be a career-limiting factor, adds Carlson. Plus saying “yes” adds to our stress levels. This holiday season – and all year long – I’m resolving to practice ways that take off stress. If this sounds like something you want to try, be sure to read Part II of my “The Truths Every Female Needs to Hear” series where I explain how (and why) “No is your password to the next level.”

P.S. My husband and children had been watch out because I’m “getting my ask in order” as Colette Carlson would say!

Colette Carlson, CSP, www.speakyourtruth.com

People generally fear what they don’t understand. Nearly 98% of the American population is no longer engaged in food and fiber production, so it’s easy to see why so many consumers have questions about choosing safe and healthy foods for their family.

So how can be bridge the gap between consumers and producers? It stands to reason that greater understanding leads to greater appreciation… and results from a survey recently commissioned by the American Seed Trade Association (ASTA) prove just that!

During a news conference held yesterday during the 2014 Seed Expo in Chicago, ASTA leadership shared research findings from a study of 600 moms, millennials and foodies. These three consumer segments are recognized for driving conversations about food issues, and survey findings verify that they greatly undervalue the role of seed and seed improvements in their everyday lives.

Once consumers were presented with specific examples of environmental, economic and health benefits of seed, however, they had a greater appreciation for how seed innovation contributes to quality of life. Survey respondents were provided examples of seed improvements in areas of food, feed, fuel and fiber. Total positive impressions among millennials increased by 18%; total positive impressions among moms increased by 13%; and total positive impressions among foodies increased by 16%.

These results are extremely encouraging! I couldn’t be more excited about the three-year campaign that’s getting underway to reach consumers with positive messages about seed improvements.

“ASTA is uniquely positioned to help educate consumers about seed improvements that are providing solutions for the increasing demands of a growing world,” ASTA President and CEO Andy LaVigne. “It also gives our organization an opportunity to focus on ‘why’ we do what we do.”

The seed industry – like the farmers we serve – has an honorable story to tell. That’s why Latham Hi‑Tech Seeds is committed to doing whatever we can to help consumers understand – and appreciate – how better life begins with seed. Better seed equals better life, here and around the globe!

… It’s the happ- happiest season of all!

These lyrics to the classic Christmas song by Emmy award winning performer Andy Williams could lead one to believe that the holidays are the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. However, studies show this season is among the most stressful time of the year for many Americans and especially for women.

A survey by the American Psychological Association found that more women than men feel stressed at Christmas — and have a harder time relaxing and enjoying the season. According to a Washington Post article, women find themselves trying to meet everyday obligations, finish year-end projects and set goals for the next year, as well as fit in a plethora of concerts and other holiday activities into an already jam-packed schedule.

Many moms work overtime to create magical Christmas memories for their families by decorating children’s rooms with miniature Christmas trees to making homemade Christmas ornaments and DIY Christmas gifts plus baking Christmas cookies.

“We feel stress because we can’t slow down,” says Certified Speaking Professional and author Vicki Hitzges, who led a session entitled “Baby, Take Off Your Stress,” last Thursday during the 4^th Annual Executive Women in Agriculture (#EWA14) in Chicago. I found myself nodding in agreement with many of Hitzges’ nuggets of truth and laughing at some of the (admittedly) crazy things I do that add more stress to this season of peace and goodwill.

The trick is not learning ways to reduce stress, says Hitzges. The trick is following is these simple tips:

1. Exercise. Research shows that as little as a 5-minute walk can elevate your body’s level of endorphins, which lead to positive feelings. The higher your level of endorphins, the greater your sense of calm and well-being. We’ve all heard the reports that we should walk 20 to 30 minutes a day, but honestly, 5 minutes is better than nothing! It can help boost your energy levels throughout the day.
2. Talk it Out. Taking a problem through can help to put it in to perspective and throw a new, objective view on it. You might want to speak to a good friend, a partner or a family member. Perhaps you would prefer to speak to a colleague or manager at work. You could even look in to talking to your doctor or a trained therapist. No matter how alone you may feel, remember there is always someone there for you.
3. Take a Break. Just as electronics sometimes freeze, so can your brain! To reboot your system, step away from the problem momentarily. Get some fresh air. Walk around a bit or climb the stairs in your home or office building. Chat briefly with a friend.
4. Laugh and/or Cry. There’s good reason people say laughter is the best medicine. Laughter is like a mini workout as it stretches muscles throughout our face and body. Our pulse and blood pressure go up, plus we breathe faster. Sometimes we laugh until we cry, and other times all we can do is cry! Tears can provide a release for stress, fear, anxiety and grief.
5. Map It. Walking away from a problem doesn’t solve anything, Hitzges reminds, but working through problems can provide a sense of calm. Implementing an action plan helps put you in control of making the situation better.

Chances are, the five tips above aren’t anything you didn’t already know. Hitzges offers the following unique ideas:

• Pop a bubble. A survey conducted by Kelton Research reveals that just over one minute of popping Bubble Wrap® provides stress relief equivalent to a 33 minute massage. If you find yourself with a “need to pop” but don’t have any shipping wrap, download the BubbleFREE App for Apple or the Bubble Pop Fun! Android App.
• Work wonders with warm water. Bathe in water that’s 100-101 degrees. Warm (not hot) water provides your entire body with a level of relaxation that reduces some anxiety symptoms and can also relieve physical aches and pain.
• Melt away stress with ice cold water. Someresearchers believe drinking extra water can help relieve some anxiety symptoms. Plus, drinking cold water burns calories because your body temperature goes down when you drink it. You burn 8 calories for every 8 ounces of ice cold water you drink. Drink 8 cups per day and burn 64 calories. Burn 448 calories in one week just by sitting on the couch, sipping ice cold water!

By implementing some of these tried and true stress-relieving tips, may you find yourself singing a new tune this holiday season!  … With kids jingle belling and everyone telling you “Be of good cheer …
… It’s the happ- happiest season of all!